The EVIL groupies
by StarMoonBunny
Summary: I couldn't fit the real title (Which would be, Harry Potter and The Never-Ending Attack of the Evil Harry Potter Groupies) Random Sillyness ensues with evil plot bunnies plot holes and a apperance by J.K. Rowling to save the day! PG-13 For innuendo and un


Harry Potter and The Never-ending Attack of The Evil Harry Groupies!  
  
By StarMoon*Bunny  
  
PG-13  
  
Chapter: The World Has Gone Wrong.  
  
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One fine day Harry had been wandering around the school known as Hogwarts. When he stumbled upon none other than the wardrobe from his third year class with the boggart. "Hark! There goes the wardrobe that was in my third year Defense Against the Dark Arts class!" Harry being overcome by curiosity, (You see he was a very curious little monkey.errr I mean child) could not help but open it only to release the greatest evil upon the wizarding world; Harry Potter Groupies.  
  
Harry was simotaiously attacked by evil Harry Potter groupies. Several appeared to be in their late teens, followed by 3 others who appeared to be close to the age of 13 and the last 2 were at least 20. Harry blinked in confusion at the younger teens that had attacked his abdomen.  
  
"OH MY GAWD!!! IT'S HARRY POTTER!!!" Screeched one of the smallest. "Who in Merlin's name are you?!" Harry demanded.  
  
"We are like, your biggest fans!" Harry was crushed in another bear hug and flashes started to go off everywhere that Harry could see that was not blocked by teenage girls.  
  
"My Gawd! He is sooo sexy!" After Harry had signed at least every flat surface that they  
  
had shoved in front of him Harry made his confused way up to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
However the rest of Hogwarts wasn't safe..  
  
Draco Malfoy had also the pleasure of being mobbed by the teenage girls. Draco had been spotted by one of the younger teens.  
  
"AHHHHH! It's Draco Malfoy!" She bellowed while Draco looked as if he were a deer caught in the high beams of an SUV.  
  
"20 bucks to the girl who can get him to sign her bra!" Draco possibly did the worst thing possible to do in such a situation. He ran. The girls chased. Draco ran screaming like the little sissy girl he was only to draw the attention of the one professor, Snape. The girls however only stopped their hot pursuit of Draco to mob Snape.  
  
"Oh My Gawd! It's Snape!" Snape repeated the confused blinking of Harry and the deer caught in the headlights look of Draco. The 20 year olds attacked him the greatest, only to drag him into a closet and snog Snape's brains out. (Much to Snape's pleasure since these were very beautiful Harry groupies. We know these are possibly the most dangerous of them all.) the older teens settled on a look of disgust.  
  
"I like, sooo called him last night!" The older teens continued the chase of Draco and Draco continued to scream like a girl.  
  
"Come back! We love you Draco!" Screamed one and drew the attention of none other than that of Hermione the Prefect.  
  
"Hey! You! No running! And no screaming!" Draco dropped to his knees and proceeded to beg Hermione for safety. The groupies popped in a tape of sad violin music. "Hermione! Dear, dear Hermione! Save me! SAVE ME FROM THE WRATH OF THE HARRY POTTER GROUPIES!!!!" This caused the groupies to let out loud wails of sadness.  
  
"Oh that's so beautiful!" wailed one girl. Only one groupie was unsatisfied. "Take it off!" She bellowed and proceeded to hiccup in intervals of 15 seconds. Hermione looked at the sadistic look on Draco's face and the teary cheers of the groupies. Hermione proceeded to snog Draco's arse off.  
  
The groupies cheered. They were slowly undoing the magic of Harry Potter with their insane chasing of characters. The groupies quickly forgot their tender feelings and screeched.  
  
"50 bucks to the gal who can get Draco to sign her panties!" Draco screeched again like a girl and drug Hermione into the Gryffindor Common room were they commenced to snog (Again.) The Harry Potter Groupies followed only to walk in on the snogging Draco and Hermione, Harry and Ginny.  
  
The groupies began to hiss and boo Ginny.  
  
"Go on you little carrot top slut! Hissssss!" Hollered one groupie. Ginny who was upset by this ran from the common room only to run to the arms of Tom Riddle. (Voldie's past self for you forgetful-frogs)  
  
Harry by this was inevitably ticked and looked at the groupies angrily. However Harry had no experience of the immensely evil groupie and nearly killed Harry with their leer. Harry who was dazed by the look, immediately decided to snog Draco, decided he liked it, and took Draco into the next room. Hermione looked heartbroken only for one groupie to shove Ron into her arms for her to snog. Professor Snape had returned only to be convinced by the evil sex power of the 20-year-old groupies to become The King of the Groupies.  
  
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I shall rule the world of Harry Potter and it will no longer be Harry's world but mine! All MINE!!!" The evil groupies laughed also, and called upon the plot bunnies of death to attack the remaining characters and put them under the plot spell of the groupies.  
  
Dumbledore had taken immediate action and began to barricade his door in the same room as Professor McGonagall.  
  
"Dear God! They're coming in!" Screamed McGonagall, terrified more than if it was Voldemort. The evil plot bunnies continued to chew through the door.  
  
"Help!! Help!!" Shouted Dumbledore, even he, the greatest wizard in the entire world could not stand up to the power of Groupies.  
  
In the mean time Draco had snogged, Harry, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Harry, Snape, Harry, His father, Harry, his own mother, Harry again, Ron, and did I mention he snogged Harry again?  
  
Draco's character had now broken 700 million copyright laws in at least 10 different countries, as did Harry, Hermione, and Ron and they all submitted to the power of the groupies and they were forever helplessly lost to their original story line, it had been twisted so much Hermione started having brain hemorrhages, for all the knowledge she had to remember only to be taken advantage of by the Great King of Plot-less stories, Severus Snape.  
  
Then only to be nursed back to health by Draco, snogged by Vicktor Krum and Ron twice. Then Ron had developed a taste for Vicktor and they shared a closet for 5 rather noisy minutes.  
  
The groupies had spun their evil web of plot-lessness and they were all forever doomed to live in this surreal reality. But Hark! On the horizon floats an angel of light and hope. Could it be?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Nope. It was Professor Trelawny. who had descended from her tower to claim that the earth was ending, as she knew it. Which for once was true. Terrified, shocked and  
  
hopelessly out of character, she ran screaming around the room for 10 minutes and to be stolen by the Great King of Plot-less stories, Severus Snape, and to share the closet with Ron and Vicktor, as it was getting cramped since it had been filled with Draco and Harry,  
  
Lucius and James, Remus and Sirius and about 5 other characters that had been made from the numerous plot holes and the evil plot bunnies. However there was another angel on the horizon..  
  
COULD IT REALLY BE??!?!  
  
Why, yes! It's...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
J.K. ROWLING!!!  
  
The might author took out the pen of greatness and banished the evil groupies and the evil plot bunnies back to the wardrobe of hell they came from. All the characters gathered around her to receive their dignity back.  
  
"Oh dear."She said looking at the terrified Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. "Now let's give you your level heads back." She scribbled something on paper and they proceeded back to their offices. She turned to the shiver, brain hemorrhaging.  
  
"You poor girl. let's delete some of the knowledge." Hermione smiled and left for the Gryffindor Common Room. J.K. Rowling turned to Ron and Vicktor Krum. She raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Ok. Back to being semi-hostile, and let's restore your love for Hermione and only Hermione. and Vicktor, Back to Bulgaria." Ron smiled as if a great burden had been lifted.  
  
"Now. Harry and Draco.." Draco threw himself at her feet. "PLEASE! Don't take Harry! I love him; he's so sexy. you just can't yank him away from me! I need some love. I need sex. I NEED Harry!!!" J.K. Rowling wasn't impressed.  
  
"Knock the whining down a notch. and back to hostility and hatred on the surface and underlying jealousy for Harry here. Harry. Back to your doubtful, loveable, and kind self." Harry and Malfoy stared at each other with hatred and then left their separate ways.  
  
"Back to being a lying bug-eyed freak." She scribbled on her paper about Professor Trelawny and she muttered about how Harry will die and floated back up to her tower. Ms. Rowling sent Lucius and Narcissa back to the Malfoy Mansion.  
  
Sirius back to hiding, and Remus Lupin back to wherever he came from. The only one left was Professor Snape, who commenced to claim that he was King of Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling shrugged.  
  
"Eh. I like him better this way." and J.K. Rowling ascended from the world of Harry Potter only to leave Professor Snape crazy.  
  
THE END 


End file.
